Music Makes the World go 'Round
by Luxor Nautalis
Summary: A series of music-based one shots based around the Chosen Two. Buffy/Faith pairing.
1. Chapter 1 Already Gone

**Disclaimer; **I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, their characters, their plot, theme or names, and I do not claim ownership to them. However, I DO claim ownership to my writing, so please don't steal!

**Authors Note:** This fiction is a series of song-based one shots. They'll be posted in no particular order, just as a song comes up that fits this pair or as I write them. I recommend listening to the song as you read or at least read the lyrics, but I'm not posting them as song-fics...no one ever reads the lyrics anyway (I don't ;D) Some will be happy, some will be sad, but all are based around our favorite couple!

This particular chapter is based off of Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson. It takes place during season 3, just after Faith has joined forces with the Mayor. For this fic, Faith was in Sunnydale for a few months before Angel came back to life.

**Rating;** Rating may change on a chapter by chapter basis, and will be posted at the beginning of each chapter

**Pair; **Buffy x Faith

**Already Gone**

"_Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a wh__ole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love._

_-Neil Gaiman_

I shouldn't have come here. I know it was a mistake, but some part of me, the greater part, doesn't care. I can see her there, shuffling around in her bedroom, getting ready for sleep and she looks like an angel. My angel...

I know she can feel me; she proves me right every single time she glances at the window. She knows I'm there. It's the connection we feel, the draw to one another that neither of us could ever deny even if we wanted to; that tingling along my spine that only intensifies the closer she gets, the way her hazel eyes draw me in like a gravitational force. She knows I'm there, but still she goes about her nightly routine like she can't feel my eyes on her.

Everything in me screams to go to her, to scale the tree next to the roof and slip into her open window, but I don't. I can't. Not yet.

Just one little mistake and my world came crashin' down around me, leavin' me with nothing but blood on my hands. Human blood.

I can still see his face at night, when I try in vain to sleep. I can see the look of horror in his eyes, accompanied with pain and hopelessness as he realizes that his life is draining from his body, quite literally, from the wound in his chest made by my stake. I can still smell the tangy metallic smell of his life force thick in the air as it leaked from his veins. I can still hear his pained gasps as he tried to get the words from his mouth, but his efforts were for nothing. It haunts me, his face.

But not as much as B's. The pain in his eyes doesn't haunt me nearly as much as the complete and utter horror and disgust that was etched into her face when she turned to look at me that hellish night. But more than that, I can still remember the way she used to look at me, when we were out slaying or partying at the Bronze. I can still remember the small smiles she would give me and the adoring look in her eyes that she reserved only for the moments when we were alone.

Even more than that, even more than Alan Finch's face, I remember the way her lips taste, like her strawberry lip-gloss and something that was uniquely Buffy. I see her in my head every time I close my eyes, exactly how she looked the first night we made love, the way her face contorted into pure, unadulterated pleasure as she came around my fingers. I remember how I felt as I held her in my arms afterward, our bodies sticky with sweat as we clung desperately to one another. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged somewhere, like I was home.

I knew in that moment nothing would ever be the same, and I was right.

The next few weeks passed too quickly. We were together as much as we possibly could be, holding hands underneath the table in the library or sneaking away to steal kisses in a dark corner in the Bronze or the school bathroom during another boring all-nighter of searching through endless books for the newest big bad trying to end the world. Our nights were full of patrolling, complete with wandering hands, and afterward we would go back to my place or hers. Most of the time, we would make love, but sometimes we would just hold one another.

Every day we fell a little more in love. Every day I let my walls down a little more, let her in a little more.

The night I told her just how I felt, she was curled up in my arms, fully clothed, but that was okay. It was one of those 'just snuggle' nights, and I was okay with that; she didn't want our relationship to be just about sex and hell, shocker here, neither did I. Anyway, we were lying on my crappy hotel bed with her head resting on my chest and her arms wrapped around my waist as I leaned back against the headboard. I was lightly stroking her golden hair, breathing in her scent and I leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the top of her head right before I whispered 'I love you'. I didn't even mean for it to happen - typical 'it just slipped out' excuse, but it's true - and I couldn't remember being more afraid in that moment. What if she freaked? What if she laughed? What if she ran? But she didn't do any of those things. She just smiled, snuggled deeper into my side, kissed my collar bone and whispered the words right back. And God damn, I had never been happier than in that moment.

The next week was even better than any of the ones that passed before. We didn't say the words again, but we didn't have to. I could see it in her eyes and she could see it in mine. Everything was wonderful, perfect even, but you know the sayin'; 'what goes up must come down'. Okay, so, maybe not the best sayin' to use in this situation, but you know what I mean.

Anyway, things were pretty much perfect...and then, it all fell apart. All because of fuckin' Soul Boy had to reappear with his 'centuries of torture in a hell dimension' shit. Fuckin' baby.

Funny thing about that...she didn't tell me he was back, but I knew somethin' was up. She grew more and more distant. After patrolling, she stayed with me less and less, always telling me with a sad smile that her mom was expecting her at home or she had a study session with Red. I knew something was wrong then, but I didn't want to believe it.

Until she stopped coming by all together. She would barely let me touch her, even when we were alone. She would always shrug off my hand or slowly move away. Her once long and sweet kisses became quick and withdrawn. It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more.*

At night, I would miss her, crave her. My arms felt empty without her to lie in them. She and her bright smile and adoring eyes were gone. It was like she was never there at all, but every night as I lie my head back on my pillow and my eyes stung with tears I refused to shed, I could still smell her on my pillow and bed sheets, even on my own body; Honeysuckle and orange with a hint of strawberry. She was a poison, infecting my veins and I was letting her kill me.

Seeing her every day, watching her give me that pained, apologetic smile even as she practically avoided me like the plague was like dying inside. And I didn't understand it, any of it. I couldn't understand how we had gone from so blissfully in love to barely speaking. How could everything have been so perfect just weeks before? What had changed?

One day, I decided to confront her about it. I wanted to know what the fuck was up. Naturally, I was fuckin' pissed about the whole situation, not to mention confused and hurt but my pride would only let me show her how pissed I was. Even as her answer killed me...

_"Faith," she said softly, hesitantly, as if she knew the next words she spoke would break me into a million little pieces, "I can't do this anymore. I...I just need to think about some things. I need space." All this time she's been avoiding me, and she couldn't come up with anything better than that fuckin' cliché line? _

_But I was right. She did break me, but I wouldn't let her see it. _

_"Yeah, sure. Space...No problem, B." If only she could hear the pain beneath my words. But she didn't want to, she didn't even try. _

_"I still want to be your friend. I love you, I do...but I'm just not sure if I love you like that, and I need time to figure it out." She was pleading now, but I wasn't going to listen to her plea, no matter how much I wanted to. _

_I was an all or nothing kinda girl, and if she couldn't give me her all, I would take nothing. But I still forced a dimply smile, shrugged my shoulders and said, "Sure. Friends." _

_Like she didn't know I could never be 'just friends' with her. _

We went about the way we had before we decided to get all domestic after that conversation. We slayed, we teased one another, we trained and we flirted, but none of it was real, not for me. I had reconstructed my walls and I swore to myself never again to let her in. I refused to, especially after what had happened the last time I did.

I held her at arm's length, never letting her get too close. I couldn't bare it, and I couldn't believe I had been so fuckin' stupid.

Then, just days after our little conversation, I found out the real reason she wanted to be 'just friends'. Not from her, oh no, but from Xander. Who happened, by the way, to see them mackin' on one another through a dirty window of Soul Boy's mansion. Sure enough, I go to that fuckin' mansion, and what do I see? B suckin' face with a fuckin' vampire, one that not only tried to kill her and her friends - and succeeded in some cases - but nearly ended the world.

And in that instant everything made sense. All that hurt and confusion I had buried inside of me was gone and it was replaced with burning rage. She fuckin' used me, just like everyone else in my life. I thought things would be different with her, that she would be different, but I had never been more wrong. She was just using me. I was just her little play thing, good enough to fuck just long enough for her real honey came back from hell.

Serves me right for ever believing I could have something more with her, forever trying to change my 'get some, get gone' motto.

_"Faith!" She exclaimed in surprises as she ripped away from her undead lover, her eyes flashing to me in shock. I said nothing, just stared back at her coldly, watching as she shifted beneath my gaze and fixated her eyes firmly on the floor. _

_She wouldn't or couldn't look at me; which, I didn't know and I really didn't care. _

_Instead, I turned to look at fuckin' Soul boy, standing all tall-dark-and-broody in his black jeans and black silk shirt, a look of confusion carved onto his face as he flicked his dark eyes between me and B. Our eyes met and I know he could see the hate in mine, but he didn't flinch away from it, didn't cower. It just made him more confused._

_He would, eventually...fear me, that is__...__ I would make sure of it. The last thing he would feel before I slammed my stake into his buff undead chest would be fear of me. _

_I didn't say anything. I just walked away. _

_I felt her as she raced after me, frantically grabbing my arm and pulling me around to face her as she called my name. I ripped myself from her grasp, turning a blank stare to her. Green eyes, full of regret and brimming with unshed tears met mine. _

_"Faith, It - it's not what you t-think. I-I was just...I was just..." she stuttered desperately. _

_"Just what, Blondie. Just tripped and fell on his lips?" I snapped sarcastically. _

_"No! It-it just...happened. I didn't mean-"_

_"Save it, B," I cut her off, not really wanting to hear her excuses, "Just friends, remember?" _

_And I walked away, only after getting a glance at the heartbreak in her eyes, but I didn't care. She had broken my heart, it was only fair to break hers right back. _

She still hid behind her 'golden girl' image, still pretended nothing between us ever happened. She would never do something so wrong as to consort with another woman. She would never let anyone see that she wasn't as 'golden' as everyone thought she was. She would never show them that she was in love with someone like me. So she buried it inside of her, spent her days hanging with her pals and her nights snuggled with Soul Boy after we finish patrolling.

Just as I buried everything inside me, never letting my walls down, never letting her see that everything inside of me was nothing but chaos. Dark, brutal chaos. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

And then Alan Finch happened, and I saw my opportunity.

A part of me hated myself for what had happened. The Slayer in me hated that I had took a human life and a part of my own conscience did too, but I was heartbroken and betrayed and I wanted to hurt her back for hurting me. An eye for an eye, right?

So I blamed her for his death. When that plan fell through, I went to the Mayor. Deep down inside, I know it's all fake, all a huge act he puts on, but for the first time I had someone in my life that actually cared for me. That part deep down inside of me is screaming that he's a demon and he can't ever care for me, but I don't care. I knew he was just using me, just like everyone always had, but even his false affection and manipulation feels better than living with heartache. It's better than being alone.

So, big deal, I betrayed her. She betrayed me. I would show her what it felt like to hurt.

Her bedroom light flicking off tore me from my memories, the same ones that haunted me whenever I closed my eyes. I waited a few more minutes before I moved, sliding from the shadows with the grace only a Slayer could poses. I scaled the tree next to her roof silently, crept across the roof and loomed outside her window, which she always left open.

Her back was to me as I slipped inside, landing without a single sound and she never moved, but I knew she knew I was there. The hum along my spine had intensified, making the hairs on my arms stand on end.

She sat up, pushing the comforters aside, but she never turned to look at me. "I didn't think you'd come."

"Hello to you too, lover," I return with my typical smirk. She says nothing, and my smirk widens. "Well, I was gonna just do the stalker thing at first, but then I though stalkin' is just over-rated, so here I am," I drawled as I swaggered into the room, noticing nothing out of place and nothing has changed since I was here last.

"I'm glad you did," She says just as softly.

"Yea, right. I'm _sure _ya did. Just had to pencil me in for those twenty minutes Dead Boy's not hangin' all over ya, right?" Ah, sarcasm, my best friend. Bein' with B really turned me into a pussy, so it's good to put on Big Sister's clothes again.

"Faith..." She begins, turning to face me, her green eyes catching the moonlight in a way that makes my breath catch in my lungs, but I don't let her finish whatever sentence she's started.

"Graduation's comin' up. Ya ready for the big throw down?" Her eyes flash for a moment, and she sighs. Crisis averted.

"It doesn't have to be like this..." Okay, crisis not so averted.

"Yeah, it really does, B."

She stands, moving slowly toward me as if she thinks I'll flee at the first sign like a skittish animal, and she just might be right. But I stand my ground, and make believe that the closer she gets, the closer I want her to get and the more I want to take her in my arms and forget this nightmare ever happened doesn't exist.

"I never wanted this to happen. I didn't want it to be like this." So, this is confession time, huh?

"But it is, B. Nothin's gonna change that now. You made your choice, I made mine. Time to lie in the bed we made. Not together, of course. And that would be because of your choice, not mine." It's a low blow, but she hurt me so it's time to hurt her back. Her eyes are sad, but I refuse to drown in them.

"It was a mistake. I-I know you'll never trust me again, but if it means anything..."

"It doesn't," I harshly cut her off. Her eyes fall to the floor and I feel a stab of regret for causing the flash of pain I see there.

"Can we just...just forget this whole thing ever happened? Can we just go back to the place we were before?"

Damn. At her whisper, I feel my heart clench and some of the anger and hate I've forced myself to feel toward her drain away but I force myself to shake it off and remember everything she did to me. "Not possible, B. You got what you wanted, after all. You destroyed me, baby, made me into what I am today. Aren't you proud?"

Her eyes flit back to mine as I say it, and she steps closer, close enough to take my hands in her own. I want to pull away, but I can't. "It's not what I wanted. I never wanted to hurt you, please believe me when I say that. I just...Angel came back and I was confused and scared and-"

I pull away, take a few steps back and turn my back to her. "I really don't wanna hear it, B."

"But I need you to..." she whispers, her voice cracking slightly and her tone broken.

"Stopped carin' about what I needed a long time ago."

"No!" she protests, closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around my waist as her head rests against my shoulder blade. My eyes clench shut against the feelings her touch well up inside of me. "I never stopped caring about you."

"Funny way of showin' it, B."

We stay like that for minutes, hours, I can't be sure. What I am sure of is that it's both a blessing and a curse. Feeling her against me again, her front pressed against my back, is like feeling whole again. All my anger, my hate just drains away and I'm left with the sensations she's creating in my body. Just her simple touch calms the chaos of my soul, but I know that as soon as I climb out of that window again, it will all come back and I'll be left with raging emotions.

It's like the calm in the eye of the hurricane. You only have a few moments to marvel at the sunlight barely peeking from behind the clouds, but those few moments are enough because they have to be. Even with the destruction around you, left by the raging storm, those moments of calm are a blessing.

Unable to stop myself, I turn in her arms and she pulls back a little, probably expecting me to push her away, but I don't. Instead, I pull her closer, wrap my arms around her shoulders and bury my face in her hair, inhaling her scent as deeply as my lungs will allow.

Again, we stay that way for God knows how long, just reveling in being this close again, but I know it doesn't change anything. We're still enemies, starcrossed lovers caught on two different sides. I won't let myself come back to her, and I won't let her come back to me. Not after everything that's happened.

"Stay," she whispers against my chest, tightening her hold just a tad when she feels me tense against her. "Just for tonight," she continues quickly. "Let's pretend just for tonight that none of this ever happened, that we're together like we used to be...please."

As much as I want to refuse her, I can't. It won't change anything. When I wake up in the morning, she'll still be my enemy, but I might never get another chance like this again. Come graduation, one of us is gonna die, and I don't know if I can live - or die - without ever feeling her in my arms again, without ever watching her sleep. So I pull away the slightest amount, her head lifts from my chest and our eyes meet. I can see the fear there, the fear that I'll reject her, push her away and leave. She's leaving herself vulnerable to me, open and exposed and this is probably the one time that I won't exploit it. She's giving me a chance to walk away and this is probably the one time that I won't. Because I'm open and exposed too...again.

Dammit.

I lift a hand and brush my thumb against her flawless cheek. Against her expectations, I lean forward and press my lips against her's and, as always, they taste like Strawberries. Her breath catches in her throat and she freezes for a second before she responds. It's slow and soft and gentle, everything you wouldn't expect from me, but it's everything we need right now. I can almost feel our wounds, old and new, caused by one another, heal and it doesn't matter if they'll be re-opened in the morning; tonight, we're healed.

"Okay," I whisper as soon as we break apart, our foreheads leaning against one another staring into each other's eyes. She smiles, pressing another soft kiss against my lips before taking my hand and leading me toward the bed.

There's no fucking, no making love, no sex...whatever you want to call it. We just lay there, holding one another like we used to so many months ago, sharing sweet kisses. We don't speak...our eyes say everything we can't.

Until, just before she drifts to sleep, she whispers to me, "I love you."

I don't say it back. I can't force myself to, but I still press a soft kiss to her forehead and in a few seconds her breathing is even, her heartbeat steady and I know she's asleep.

I lay there for hours, just watching her, lightly running a hand through her hair, tracing the lines of her face. I know I'll never get another chance like this again, and I want to make the best of it. She looks so innocent when she's asleep. All her walls are down and she looks like an angel. She's had to deal with too much shit in her life already, and she's only eighteen. I hate to admit that I'm the cause of too much of that shit.

The sun will rise in a few hours, and I force myself to move, to pull out of her arms. I look back one more time, memorizing the way she looks right now before I climb out the window, down the tree and jog down the street, leaving Revello Drive behind me and B with it.

The further I get away from her, the more the tingle down my spine becomes less intense and the more I want to run back to her and straight into her arms. But I won't. Sunrise is coming and we're enemies again, no matter how much we love each other.

**Parting Notes; **Bittersweet? Sad? Lemme know!

*This is one of my favorite quotes, by Unknown, unfortunately, but it fit the situation perfectly, as did the first quote by Neil Gaiman. Neil's quote was practically made for Faith, don't you think? ;D


	2. Chapter 2 Nothing

**Authors Note;** This chapter is based on the song 'Nothing' by The Script. I really do recommend you listen to it. It's one of my favorite songs, and fits this instillation perfectly.

The deep brown of the whisky in her cup caught the bar lights, turning the liquid contained in the glass amber golden. She studied the contents for a moment before lifting the glass once more to her lips, drinking the contents in one large gulp.

Without even looking to the bartender, she waved her hand for another round. Her glass was filled again and she again studied the contents, but her mind was on anything but the liquor. Instead, it was focused on a certain blond.

She'd made a lot of mistakes in her life, and the last four years, she had done everything she possibly could to make up for them...but it never seemed to be enough. Sometimes, it made her wish that Buffy had finished the job on the rooftop of her condo in Sunnydale. Sometimes, it made her feel like her quest for redemption was for nothing.

Sometimes she felt like it was all for nothing, because no matter how hard she tried, it would always haunt her. She wanted to say she didn't know why she had done all those things: Alan Finch, turning to the Mayor, shooting Angel with a poison arrow, holding a knife to Willows throat...all of it. But she did. She knew exactly why, and it killed her a little bit more every day.

She had been a teenager, a child. Unstable and volatile, haunted by her past. Memories of her drunken mother and abusive father, her Watcher - who had been more a mother to her than her own - being killed before her eyes had haunted her. All that coupled with unrequited love for a certain blond too wrapped up in her undead lover to notice had left her even more unstable than ever, and she had made mistakes. By making those mistakes, she had betrayed - and ultimately lost - the one person that had ever truly cared for her, the one person that had ever went out of their way to reach out to her.

So she had done what Buffy wanted her to; she'd went to prison to repent for her crimes. And when Buffy called, she came running just like any good lap-dog. Sure, it was under the guise of helping defeat The First and it was an excuse that had everyone else fooled, but not her. She had come for Buffy and Buffy alone.

Things had been tense for a while...They had skirted around one another, avoided eye contact. Until all that changed, all because of a trap she herself had led the potentials into and a bomb that had nearly ended her life.

That night, Buffy had done the one thing she would have never expected from her in a million years. The blond had taken care of her, cleaned her wounds, stitched what needed to be stitched, brought her food to help her slayer healing and, as the night slowly began to turn into morning, Buffy had lay beside her and held her while she slept.

It was the first night in years she didn't have a single nightmare.

After that, things were easier. Buffy once more took up the mantle of 'Slayer in charge', and she had been more than happy just to follow. They fell into a comfortable routine...things were less tense and they could actually hold a conversation without glaring or yelling of punching, but they never spoke of that night.

Then the time for war had come, the battle had raged, the First had been defeated, Sunnydale had been swallowed and they had made their merry way to L.A.

And that's when things changed completely. In a move nobody, especially herself, had expected, Buffy had wanted to room with her when they arrived at the Hyperion Hotel. Not Dawn or Red or any of the other Scoobies...her. As luck would have it, they had been assigned a room with only one bed, though by pure chance or Buffy's suggestion, she didn't know and it didn't really matter because that night, after their wounds had been tended to, they had once more fallen asleep in one another's arms.

And so began the best seven months of her entire life.

Things had progressed rather slowly, each woman afraid of what starting a relationship would mean, given their history, but it was surprisingly easy. They went on dates, they held hands and shared soft, sweet kisses. A couple months into their relationship, they had made love, and it was everything she had ever expected and more. It wasn't fast...she wanted to take her time with Buffy. It was new to her, making love, it was far different from her expectations and it was so much more, all because of whom she was making love to and with.

For seven months, everything was perfect...Until two months ago, when she had made another mistake and ruined the best thing in her life. Buffy had left her, moving into Willow's apartment and leaving her to drink her sorrows away, just as she was doing tonight.

Her eyes flashed to Kennedy, Rhona and Vi moving on the dance floor, but she was far too drunk to smile at the Junior Slayer's antics.

As if feeling eyes on her, Kennedy turned, giving the brunette on the bar a small smile before excusing herself from their friends and making her way over. The Junior leaned against the bar, resting her weight on an elbow as her head tilted slightly to the side and brown eyes met brown.

"I thought you we were gonna have fun?" Kennedy asked, smiling softly. But the other brunette didn't return it. Instead, she turned back to her glass, lifted it to her lips, and took a long swallow.

"I am havin' fun, Ken. Can't you see?" Faith didn't even bother looking back to her young friend, but she lifted her half-empty glass to prove her point.

_Half empty,_ she thought with a sharp bark of a laugh. She never had been the 'half-full' type. Optimism was for pussies, anyway...look how far it had gotten her.

"Faith...you can't keep doing this to yourself. You have to move on."

The Dark Slayer laughed again. "Move on? Your one ta talk, Ken...still pinin' after Red like a fuckin' love-sick puppy. Tell ya what," Faith swung around in her barstool, fixating Kennedy with a glare, "I'll move on when you do. How 'bout that? 'Sides, you're the one who said a few drinks would help me forget, didn't ya?"

Kennedy was unshaken by her best friend's outburst. "I said we should go out, have a few drinks and have a good time, not get drunk off our asses wishing for something that's not gonna happen," The younger explained softly.

"All I have are wishes, Ken," Faith mumbled in a rare moment of vulnerability.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself..." Kennedy repeated, resting a hand on the brunette's forearm, "...living in the past. It's gonna kill you, Faith."

"Ever think that's exactly what I want?" The brunette took another swig from her glass, never once turning to her friend as she whispered the words.

"You're better off without her."

Faith snorted. "That's where your wrong, Junior. I'm nothin' without her..."

Kennedy persisted, "Look at what she's doing to you, Faith. She's tearing you apart."

"You don't know anything!" Faith snapped, once more leveling a glare at her best friend. "The only time I've ever been happy is with her! If anything, she's the only reason I'm living! Besides, who the fuck are you tryin' to fool, huh?"

The Dark Slayer stood, closing the short distance between her and the Junior and poked Kennedy harshly in the chest, not even bothering to reign in her Slayer strength. Movement in the bar seemed to cease completely, all eyes turning toward the pair in interest and excitement at the promise of a chick fight - all eyes but two sets, who watched the two girls with caution and worry, but neither Vi nor Rhona made a move to interrupt.

"You're so full of shit, Kennedy. You're just as fucked up as I am, you're just better at hiding it than me! So don't come over here and give me some shit about how I'm better off without her when we both know I'm not and neither are you!"

Kennedy didn't more, barely even breathed and she certainly said nothing, but her eyes held Faith's. Neither spoke for a long moment, the silence in the bar still reigning as every patron held their breaths. Pulsating waves of power radiated from the two women facing off in front of the bar and, though no one but Rhona and Vi knew it was the power of a Slayer they were sensing, still no one dared to move.

"You think I don't know that?" Kennedy asked cautiously, softly, as if speaking any louder would send Faith into a rage. "You think that I don't want more than anything to be back in Will's arms like none of this shit ever happened? But it _did _happen, Faith, and nothing's gonna change. I've accepted that, and so should you."

"No," Faith hissed, her eyes flashing. A soft hand on her arm grabbed her attention before she even had a chance to do anything else, and she turned bleary eyes to Vi, who stood at her side with a sad smile on her face and a restraining grip holding her back from flinging her clenched fist straight into Kennedy's face.

"Calm down, Faith. She wouldn't want you to do this," The redhead said gently. Her words made Faith's anger evaporate almost instantly, and she realized Vi was right. Buffy wouldn't want her to do this, not to herself and not to Kennedy.

Self-loathing and disgust flooded her and she ripped her arm from Vi's grasp before roughly shouldering Kennedy aside and heading toward the door. The Junior slayers made no move to follow her, even as a collective breath of relief was released around the large dark room as the pulsating waves of power receded with the Dark Slayer's retreat.

Faith stumbled onto the street, the glaring street lights burning her eyes for a moment before they adjusted to the harsh invasion. She took in her surroundings, the slayer in her always on guard, but nothing seemed amiss. The rumbling of distant thunder reached her ears and she lifted her head to the sky, studying the dark, ominous clouds. How easily they mirrored the raging storm in her heart.

Heaving a sigh, she turned back to the darkened street, glaring into the shadows for lack of anything better to do. It was then that she saw it.

Across the street, positioned under one of the glaring street lights, was a payphone. Without another thought, she stumbled her way toward it, digging in her pocket for a quarter. Grabbing the phone from the cradle, she inserted her quarter, waited for the tone and dialed the number she knew by heart.

It rang. And rang. And rang again. She didn't even know what she would say if anyone picked up. It rang again.

She began to lose hope about anyone picking up until she heard it, the click that told her someone had answered. Silence reigned across the line for a moment, neither one speaking until Faith couldn't take it anymore.

"Buffy?" she whispered, almost hesitantly. No answer came. "B, are you there?" Still nothing. "B, please...Say something." Ten seconds passed in silence before she spoke again. "B...Buffy, I'm sorry. So sorry...I...I love you...Please, talk to me."

She heard nothing but rustling and breathing on the other side of the line. She was desperate now, desperate to get her lover to talk to her, desperate to plead her case and beg for forgiveness but, as she opened her mouth to speak again, a click met her ears followed by the dial tone and a robotic voice asking if she would like to make another call.

Her quarter rolled from the dispenser as she slammed the phone back onto its cradle, but she left it there as she pushed away from the phone booth and stumbled back into the street, fighting the stinging in her eyes.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream and collapse in a heap and let out all the pain she felt inside of her, but she didn't. She wouldn't give up, not yet.

She had to prove Kennedy wrong.

Her eyes swept around the streets once more, not looking for danger this time but finding her bearings. Once she had determined just where she was, she realized Willow's brownstone was ten blocks away, give or take. She could make it...

She started running. Her scuffed black combat boots slapped against the pavement even as fat drops began to fall from the sky, but she didn't stop. She was driven by the need to see Buffy's face, to look into her eyes and tell her lover what an idiot she had been and how much she regretted everything she had said. If she could just look at Buffy again, just talk to her, she could make her understand.

She could make her understand.

A left turn here, a right turn there. The buildings and street markers blurring around her, partially shielded by the downpour, slowly became more and more similar and she knew she was close. Only a few more blocks...

Businesses and shopping centers morphed into apartment buildings and houses complete with white picket fences and blossoming gardens. She could almost imagine the families that lived in those houses, complete with 2.5 kids and dog and husband and wife snuggled by the fire. It only made her more desperate to look upon her lover's face.

She wasn't far now...she cut around a corner, turning down a new street, and she could see it, just ahead. The deep red bricks, black post fence, elegant arches and windows that made up Buffy and Willow's brownstone apartment. Her steps slowed the closer she got, even as the rain soaked her to the bone, leaving no stitch of clothing dry and no strand of hair un-stuck to her head even as it washed the smell of alcohol away.

She stopped.

The staircase leading to Buffy's front door loomed in front of her, almost daring her to climb them and ring the doorbell. It was a challenge she accepted.

One step, two, three, four...eight more steps later and she was standing in front of the door.

She knocked. Then she waited.

Nothing.

She knocked again, and waited again.

Still nothing.

The small spark of hope still inside of her burned out, doused by the water falling from the sky. The windows framing either side of the door were dark and she took a few steps back, tilting her head to study the rest of the windows only to find they were the same. There wasn't a single light left on inside the house. She focused her senses, trying to listen for any movement inside, but the roaring of the rain made it impossible for her to focus on anything.

Maybe Buffy was asleep. Maybe she just didn't hear the knocking over the storm. Maybe she wasn't even there...But if she wasn't there, where was she? Was she getting drunk like Faith had, or was she out partying, celebrating her freedom from the Dark Slayer? Was she...was she with a guy or, even worse, a girl?

That thought alone made her stumble down a few steps before she collapsed, her ass meeting the hard concrete of a step. Only a few seconds passed before she lost control of her emotions, buried her head in her hands and cried.

Faith didn't know how much time had passed. Her sobs had abated and now her tears simply rolled silently from her eyes, only to be washed away by the lessening rain. She wished more than anything that she could light a cigarette in that moment, but she couldn't move, let along stand and search for shelter. She just sat there, staring into space, letting the cold raindrops numb her.

"Fai?" an intimately familiar voice called, snapping her out of her stupor, but it didn't come from behind her as she expected it to. Instead, she lifted her eyes, bloodshot and red from her tears and spotted Buffy, her Buffy, staring at her in confusion at the bottom of the steps.

Her blond hair was pulled back from her face, leaving only a few strays loose. They were wet, just like the rest of her, and clinging to her forehead. Green eyes studied her, slightly red themselves as if she, too, had been crying. Her white blouse and dark jeans clung to her like a second skin and she looked like a drowned rat, but Faith thought she had never looked more beautiful.

The brunette forced herself to her feet, almost expecting the vision in front of her to be an illusion as she softly whispered, "B?"

"Fai..." the blond hesitated, studying the woman in front of her guardedly, "What are you doing here?"

"I..." Faith began softly, "I came to see you..."

"Why?"

The Dark Slayer slowly began to descend the steps. This was her chance, and she was determined not to ruin it. "I had to see you, B...I'm...I'm so sorry, Buffy. God, I'm so sorry for everything. Just...Just tell me how to make it better. I'll do anything, B, just tell me what to do."

Faith's tears came back full force as she stopped in front of the blond, her eyes pleading as much as her words. Buffy's mind flashed back to a night years ago, on the roof of Angel's apartment building when the brunette had said the exact same words. _Just tell me how to make it better_. That night, she had thrown the brunette's words back in her face. This time would be different.

"Oh, Fai..." The blond whispered before closing the distance between her and Faith, taking the younger woman in her arms and pulling her close. Faith buried her head in Buffy's shoulder, half sobbing, half laughing in relief as her arms wrapped around the blonde's petite waist, crushing their bodies together. She didn't dare hope that this was real. She couldn't take it if she woke up to find it all a dream or, worse still, if Buffy pushed her away in the next ten seconds or so. But none of that happened.

Buffy just held her closer, stroking her damp dark curls even as tears leaked from her own eyes just as they had done earlier that night, whispering in her lover's ear that everything would be okay.

They stayed locked in one another's embrace until the rain had lessened to a light drizzle. Still, neither one of them wanted to pull away.

"Buffy...I'm sorry," Faith brushed her lips against the shell of the bond's ear as she whispered the words.

The elder pulled back just enough to see the brunette's face, smiling gently as she lifted a hand to brush her thumb against Faith's cheek. Faith leaned into the touch, closing her eyes to revel in the caress when she felt a familiar pair of lips press against her in the sweetest of chaste kisses.

Her eyes snapped open as Buffy pulled away, but the blond only smiled a bit wider. "I know, Fai. I know. I forgive you," Buffy whispered, and kissed her again.

No other words had ever sounded so sweet.

When they pulled apart this time, their foreheads braced against one another, their eyes closed as both girls took a moment to soak up the peace of the moment - the only moment of peace either had experienced in two long months.

"I love you," Faith whispered. She felt rather then saw Buffy's smile and she smiled in return even though she kept her eyes tightly shut.

"I know, baby. I love you too." Another kiss sealed their declaration, just as chaste and soft as the others.

"Where were you?" The Dark Slayer asked once their foreheads rested against one another again, this time eyes open and staring into Buffy's.

"Patrolling."

"I waited...I called, and someone answered...I...I thought it was you and when they hung up...I came here and...You weren't here..."

"It wasn't me," Buffy softly explained, bringing a reassuring hand up to cup the brunette's cheek. "And I'm here now. How long did you wait?"

"I don't know. Lost track of time...I would have waited however long it took, though. I had to see you."

"I'm here now," The blond repeated, giving Faith a soft kiss before she grabbed the Dark Slayer's hand, twining their fingers together, and led her up the steps. "Come on. We're both soaked and freezing. Let's take a hot shower and go to bed. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted."

"Can we shower together?" Faith asked with a small smirk. She heard Buffy's soft laughter for the first time in two months and it sounded sweeter than ever.

"Only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself," The blond shot back, easily falling back into their typical teasing routine. "I wasn't kidding about being exhausted, missy, so your just gonna have to keep it in your pants."

"Can I still kiss you?" The younger woman asked flirtatiously.

They paused in front of the door as Buffy pretended to contemplate her answer. "Hmm...I don't know..."

"Please..." Faith begged, giving a small pout.

"Ugh, fine. But wandering hands will earn you no kisses and a very uncomfortable couch to sleep on." The brunette knew Buffy was fibbing, but she beamed brightly nonetheless, her thousand watt smile making Buffy's breath catch in her lungs.

"I'll be a perfect gentlewoman," Faith promised.

"Sure you will, Fai...sure you will."

Soft laughter followed the two soaked woman into the apartment, both knowing everything would be okay.

**Parting Words; **God, I love this song! ha-ha, I hope you liked the new chapter. Review and lemma know what you thought!


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